By Randy Burtis
Contributing Writer
Every now and then two powerful forces come together and something amazing happens. Such is the case when love and faith collided in the Waldners’ world.
God brought Leon and Camille Waldner together at a restaurant in Kenora, Ontario. Leon was working there when God brought a gift of love his way—all the way from Trinidad. Just a few weeks after Camille and her family immigrated to Canada from Trinidad, she started looking for work. She went to a small little restaurant, was hired there … and love was born! They have been married now for 32 years and have two sons—Andrew, age 22, and Dylan, age 19.
When you enter the Waldner’s home you quickly experience a home full of love—love for God, love for family and love for friends. This love has come from commitment and a determination to grow it regardless of what life has thrown their way.
Camille was pregnant with twins when sadly one passed away twenty weeks into the pregnancy. The other, Andrew, was born prematurely weighing 2 pounds 7 ounces, and was immediately given a nose tube to help him breathe. He was having none of that! That first night Andrew pulled out the nose tube himself showing his determination for life. Andrew was a gift of love brought into the Waldners’ world to help them grieve the loss of his twin.
While being followed by a team at the Children’s Hospital, Andrew was diagnosed with autism at 17 months of age. The early diagnosis enabled his parents to find help and support early, thus helping Andrew to reach his full potential.
“We thought Andrew would be a quiet boy sitting in the corner rocking,” Camille commented, based on the common stereotype, “but Andrew was cuddly and active and laughing.”
Andrew is fun, happy most of the time, has a wonderful sense of humor, and loves to laugh. Everyone who knows him loves his laugh. Andrew has trouble dealing with his emotions which can make being out in the community or in the care of others challenging. When he gets frustrated over something and cannot tell his parents what it is, their hearts hurt for him.
“Dylan,” his mom says, “is mature beyond his years, a caring young man, always right beside us helping with stuff. A sensitive soul.”
Andrew and Dylan were put into Renfrew School, an integrated environment. Camille feels this has helped Dylan know that his family situation isn’t unique. He loves hanging out with the Special Needs community at church, often choosing that over other options. Leon glows as he says, “Dylan is a great little big brother to Andrew!”
Getting established in a faith community was something Leon and Camille both wanted and needed. After trying to get established in other churches with no success, they connected at Centre Street—and have been here ever since.
“The first time we went to service,” Leon said, “we had no idea how we could leave Andrew. In the Special Needs room we were met by bright loving smiles. The volunteer sensed our concern and said, “Nothing can happen in this room that we can’t handle. Go enjoy the service. If something comes up, we will contact you. “ Leon continued, “What a blessing to actually be able to take in a service! A big church is not what we were looking for, but Centre Street balances the big church little church thing. You get all the benefits of the greater resources a big church has, and small groups give you the connection and intimacy of being known and loved.”
Both Leon and Camille commented that their love and faith have grown because they have embraced their journey as a special needs family and moved forward…together.
They made some very intentional decisions for the sake of their family and their marriage. Camille stayed home to be available to help Andrew, whether it was working on his development or helping him get through a rough spot at school. Leon pursued work that would allow them to be a single income family. They clearly divided up all the family responsibilities, ensured they had regular couple dates, and drew on other resources to support them.
Leon’s work took him out of country for at a time during the first 7 years of Andrew’s life. This work rotation enabled Leon to be fully present when he was home, to relieve Camille of certain duties, and to work hands on with Andrew. A fascinating side benefit of working a job with its rotation away from home was how it enabled Leon to see Andrew’s progress in development, which Camille was often unable to see, as she works with Andrew daily. Leon has been working back in Canada for 15 years now and that first work experience overseas allowed for their family to have one parent at home, which has been an enormous blessing.
The Waldners don’t fully understand Andrew’s relationship with God, but they know he has one. “Andrew has such a heart for God,” they say. “Some days he will walk around the house saying, “Jesus,” or, “God made you special and loves you every much.”
Camille shared a powerful moment they had with Andrew early on their autism journey. Andrew has global motor delay issues and as such his speech is often difficult to understand. One day Camille stopped to really focus on what Andrew was communicating. She focused on his lips and the sounds as he said, ”With God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).
“We cling to that,” the couple commented. “We have to slow ourselves down or we miss what God is saying and doing around us. We hold to that promise when we don’t think we will get Andrew to another milestone or development area. With God all things ARE possible! Having Andrew in our family has helped us to grow.”
Though Leon grew up in a Christian home, he didn’t always walk close to Jesus. “I lost my dad when I was really young,” said Leon. “Jesus knew that, and Andrew is a big part of my life to help remind me of what is important. I think I have grown lots in the last 22 years since Andrew came into our lives, and I believe I am showing that growth outwardly. There is just no way, no way, could we be anywhere reasonably sane if it wasn’t for God walking with us every step. I tell people to give it to Jesus.”
“God is my all in all,” says Camille. “I grew up Catholic, went to Catholic school, and then became disillusioned. I watched my parents’ marriage fall apart, met Leon and started going back to church, and found my way back to God. My faith was stretched for sure when we lost Andrew’s twin; but I hung on firmly, at times desperately, to Jeremiah 29:11, that God had a good plan, regardless of what circumstances might try to indicate. And my faith grew.”
The couple have agreed, “God used Andrew to draw us closer to Him, and he has been a blessing.”
The Waldners also credit small groups for helping them grow. “Nothing puts life in perspective like sitting around the table with other people going through a similar thing,” said Leon. “You feel overwhelmed, and you listen to other folks’ journeys, and you think, ‘I’m not sure how I would handle their journey.’ Everyone’s got challenges. Being part of a small group has really helped.
“We strongly encourage folks to join small groups. I’m a firm believer that witnessing and discipleship is not something you do in a big way; you do it in small ways. When we first started in a small group, I didn’t want to do it. It was something else to fill an already overfull plate. But Camille pushed, and it turned out to be the best thing we ever did—the relationships built, the comfort received, the blessings...”
In reflecting on their influence in our Special Needs community they said, “Our contribution isn’t a big thing, but it was a big deal for us when we were on the receiving end of it years ago. Someone opening a home up for us, someone saying, ‘Together we can handle whatever comes. Just come.’ It’s such a small thing, but when you are dealing with so much, a small act of kindness means the world to people.”
While I was sitting down with the Waldners, their phone rang countless times. They would answer it and end up arranging a coffee meeting, or lending an ear, or giving a word of encouragement to another family in our special needs community. It is impossible to put into words, but as you observe this family doing life—the love they have for each other, the respect they hold for one another—it is a family you just want to be around. The love, warmth, and acceptance are tangible. You walk in knowing this is a home of love and faith.
Many families, when faced with obstacles, grow apart. For the Waldners, the opposite is true. They have grown together as a family. When people comment on their love and commitment, the Waldners say, “Jesus is our rock. People say, ‘I don’t know how you do it,’ but I don’t know how you couldn’t do it. This is your child, this is your family, how could you not? The world isn’t that way, but we rely on Someone greater than ourselves. Many people are missing that part. We put our faith and trust squarely in our Heavenly Father to sustain us, to help us more than to survive, but to thrive. Over the years, we have been through some very challenging times in our family and we have experienced God’s grace and mercy first hand in the midst of these moments. He has amazed us. We could not manage the challenges in our lives without God; nor do we want to.”